Eris Needs Women!!

http://action.afa.net/israel/
Nominate Robert Carter II of the Fifth Trinity Church! Send me & Rob to Israel!

Site says the winner is chosen on July 27 by random drawing... let's find out if a Discordian pastor can win! (Or hey, send the link around to your friends, and nominate some OTHER pastor! It's not like it costs anything to throw extra names in the hat.)

From the pamphlet to distribute at PantheaCon:

Fifth Trinity Church

We are a tribe of philosophers, theologians, magicians, scientists, artists, clowns and similar maniacs who are intrigued with Eris, Goddess of Confusion, and her doings.

We believe She sent visions to Her chosen emissaries, later known as Omar Ravenhurst and Malaclypse the Younger, which led them to record the sacred scripture: "Principia Discordia, or, How I found Goddess and what I did to Her when I found Her," wherein is explained absolutely everything worth knowing about absolutely anything. The principles of our faith are contained within the Principia, but for those whose Eris-given insight doesn't find it sufficient, we recognize that several other scriptures contain portions of Her holy message. We believe Eris speaks to each person individually, and guides his or her actions toward her goals, which are incomprehensible to humankind.

We believe some persons are more adept than others are recognizing Eris' voice, and we accord those persons the respect due their holy status. (Insert picture of 5-legged elephant.)

We attempt to understand Eris' message as expressed through all that exists. We attempt to inflict understanding of Eris' message on others.

We believe that all things are true in some sense, false in some sense, meaningless in some sense, true and false in some sense, true and meaningless in some sense, false and meaningless in some sense, and true and false and meaningless in some sense.
( So... why a church? )

[incomplete very rough draft]

These are considered to be one example of an acceptable training course; individual programs and resulting titles may be tailored to the postulant by his/her mentor and/or the council.

What’s expected of a priestess of Eris: An understanding of the contents of Principia & several other (unspecified) Discordian works. Ability to create Discordian rituals appropriate (?) to any situation. Ability to confuse & dismay people at random; ability to convince others –through reference to Discordian scripture or activity– that this is a real religion and not a joke pretending to be a religion. Ability to get others to acknowledge that on some levels, their religions make no more sense than this one. Ability to make these things fun, not just intellectual exercises. Awareness of Discordian principles & how they contrast with other religions’ principles.

( follow the lj-cut to High Weirdness within. Probably waaaaay too intellectual. )

Feedback welcome. Complaints welcome, although I've probably thought through most of the obvious ones. ("This is all too organized" will be ignored. Not my problem if my chaos appears too orderly for you.) The Goal: I want a clergy training program that's suitable for convincing the U.S. gov't that this is/could be a real, legitimate seminary, and people it ordains are qualified to be prison chaplains, army chaplains, and Discordian Advisor to the City Council, and so on.

Complaints about content are more than welcome. Complaints of essential omissions also welcome; recs for further studies actively solicited. Tell me what *you* think Discordian clergy should read and do.